I am so grateful to my parents as they helped me to cultivate my sense of empathy, helping to guide me toward caring for others, especially those most affected at the intersections of society. As I grew up, I continued to learn more about these injustices and inequities of our society. Once I became a young adult, having to actually live in the “real world” I started to experience directly the broader ills of modern life.
It became so upsetting, and later infuriating, to me how isolating, unhappy, and overwhelming our lives are. And that is the best case scenario — if you happened to not be born into a place of “privilege” then the outlook is much worse.
Well-being seems to be the last thing to be considered as we move through daily life here in the United States. Often I find my work with clients is helping to undo the harms caused by a culture that doesn’t seem to care about our humanity. We heal past wounding and energize the body to follow the soul’s longings. This tends toward recreating our lives and orienting them toward a love of ourselves which creates health.
But before I was working 1:1 with individuals I was working in education policy and as an activist within my communities. I have always been a solutions-oriented person and someone who takes action. If I see potential or a new way, I want to try it. Discussing theories is fun for a minute and then I want to get my hands dirty. I want to put my ideas to the test. I need to know if it will work or won’t; I can’t just sit around hypothesizing about it.
So in my early 20s, I began studying as much as I could, learning everything about how we have designed this country and seeking out places that were doing it better.
What I learned is that so many cultures around the globe have figured out beautiful ways of living which allow people to not merely survive, but thrive. A lot of these systems are actually quite simple to implement and run counter to what we tend to believe here in the United States. I know this from observation and study, but also because I have also put them into practice with great success.
However, I’m only human, and there have been many times throughout the years where it seemed so much easier to “burn it all down.” I bought into the same notion that many have been sold. To make a change we need a radical, overnight transformation even — if that transformation is destruction.
But honestly what good would that do?
Of course I have come to find out that this extreme, black-and-white thinking is the product of the same capitalist mindset which has sold us the society we live in today. It either needs to be easy or it’s useless. Well, has anything in your life ever proven that way? Often the best things in life are the ones that take time.
Thankfully we haven’t destroyed everything (yet) and there is still time to change the road we are on. However, what I have found over the years is that the change is actually much more about our internal landscape than it is the one in our physical reality.
Makes sense though, right? It’s our beliefs that drive our choices and our choices shape the world.
One of the movements that I dove deeply into during my initial consciousness expanding years was that of the hippie movement and the communes which were developed at that time. The general depiction of hippies on the surface seemed to be one of happy, shiny people who were seeking this beautifully free way of life. This was true for some of those people, and we would see them go on to become the elders of the alternative thinkers of the next generations.
Communes in particular used to get me really fired up. There was the appeal of living in nature, being close to friends and loved ones, raising children together, eating organic food, and sharing resources. It seemed like this wonderful antidote to the depressing, sterile strip malls and corporate buildings of my upbringing.
And also running away.
I mean, what else is more attractive in our current society than a magic-bullet and escape hatch? The promise of running away to some rural land to live peacefully seemed like the ultimate solution.
Yet, as I studied more about the communes of the 1960s I was quickly disillusioned. While a few had healthy roots and are still active today, many more rapidly devolved into manipulative, hierarchical power structures which eventually crumbled.
Eventually what I realized is that while you can take the person out of the society they grew up in it doesn’t mean the societal conditioning just disappears. Instead, whatever was already being cultivated within that person will then shape their world and the world around them.
What this means is that we can’t run away from our problems. We can’t just build new structures that look different. We won’t be able to technology our way out of the issues we face.
It is more likely that we will continue to drive ourselves deeper into unhealthy conditions much more quickly with the increasingly powerful tools we have created.
Everything is about intention. What is the intention behind the tools we use and the systems we create? What are we hoping the outcome to be? Who is being considered and who is being left out?
And are we even asking these questions in our day-to-day, or are we allowing ourselves to be pushed this way and that by ideas that were laid down by generations who knew less and were motivated by worse ideas?
Right now, the biggest challenge we face also holds the solution. We must work to change our internal focus point to one of well-being: for ourselves, for our communities, and for the world.
We must make decisions, create policies, and interact with each other from a place of care. No longer can we just say, “Well this is business as usual.” It’s not, it hasn’t been for that long, and it isn’t even this way all over the planet. We just have to hold each other accountable and not throw our hands in the air.
It is possible to foresee a not-too-distant future where we still live in the cities and suburbs we are familiar with. But in these communities everything is structured a little bit differently.
I could imagine a time where instead of every person having their own hammer or saw that they use only every so often, that there is instead a tool library in neighborhoods. The same could be said of any item that we need but only use occasionally.
Wifi could be accessed and purchased by the collective, to share the burden of cost while not allowing ourselves to be exploited by companies that require each household to have their own.
Streets could be designed more for biking, walking, and busing. Buildings could prioritize beauty, reflecting back the best of our humanity and reminding us of the joy of being alive. Communities could cultivate gardens and have meadow lawns, leading to more access to healthy food and ensuring a thriving wildlife population.
Since work productivity has increased by 61.8% since 1970, while the hourly pay of typical workers increased only 17.5% I see a few options for us. We either work less or get paid more — but ideally both. In my opinion, technology should be used for our purposes, to increase happiness and leisure. What I have noticed it doing instead is making it easier to do more work while being overwhelmed at all times.
This doesn’t have to be the case.
Life moves so quickly these days and it can feel like all of this is inevitable — but it’s not. It never has been. I’m sure you know at least a bit of history that proves what sometimes seems incredibly unlikely can, and usually does, end up happening.
What it requires of us is a steadfastness and a commitment to love, to well-being, and to kindness. Which then asks of us for more slowness and deliberateness, a space to think and breathe. Moments where we can choose differently and operate from a space of vision instead of fear.
Once in a meeting at work one of our Directors asked a question I will never forget:
“What is your ideal life? And what are three things you’ve done today to support that life?”
Personally, I don’t think this is an absurd task. In fact, it’s the only thing we can do at this point. It is what can heal our world.
As I have mentioned before, it won’t require any of us to take on the role of martyr or hero — instead it merely asks of us to show up fully as ourselves. To do what we know is right within our souls. I know in the past this maybe hasn’t sounded as seductive, but perhaps we are all tired enough at this point to realize that many hands make a lighter load and that sounds really nice right about now.
So does a more peaceful and loving world.
Healing our wounds, refusing to perpetuate the cycles of harm, and discarding outdated beliefs is actually the miraculous material that will get us out of this bog of darkness.
As love-oriented beings we must align ourselves to communities, outcomes, modes of communication, and politicians who are also aligned to love. We can choose to look for the good news and see where the successes are happening. And yes they are happening!
When you look out onto your life and go about your day, could you imagine how things could be just *slightly* different and what that would mean for the world?
In the city, look around you and imagine colorful buildings surrounded by plants with plentiful places to sit and gather with other people. Maybe there are fruit trees on the streets and gardens on top of all of the buildings. The air is cooler and fresher because of it.
While in the suburbs, walk around and imagine all the gorgeous flowers and butterflies within the meadow lawns. People are relaxed and engaging with their neighbors in a peaceful way.
Imagine your day has a few less hours of work and a few less tasks to complete, how much easier could you breathe and how nice would your body feel?
At the supermarket there is locally grown food which maybe looks a little lumpy but tastes so incredibly delicious your body yearns for the flavor and the nutrients.
What else do you see in this not-too-distant future?